You can't cross a bridge you've burned

I'm so tired of being stabbed in the back. I'm tired of helping people get what they want, only to find that once they've obtained it, they forget who helped them get there. I'm tired of doing things for others, only to find that when I need help with something, they're no where to be found. Most importantly, I'm tired of forgiving people for hurting me over and over again. I'm done. You can't cross a bridge that you've burned, and I'm done reconstructing bridges. These people are going to look up one day and realize that they're all alone, with no one to blame but themselves... but they needn't bother calling out to me because I'll be long gone by then.

A very simple truth...

People will always find ways to show you who they really are. It's up to you to decide if you want to see it.

Living Pinocchios

It seems that no one is really who you thought they were. I guess I've known that all along, I just wish it didn't hurt so much to truly find out. It appears that we live in a generation where no one is genuine anymore. People only show you what they want you to see, which is really a shame. With myself, I'd like to believe that what you see is what you get... I'm not perfect, nor did I ever claim to be. I'm not deluded to believe that I have no flaws, I'm quite aware of them; the only difference between me and the majority of the people I know is that I admit the flaws exist. I'm so tired of being judged for the imperfections in my life. I don't always say or do the right things at the right times, but that's life. I can be inconsiderate, selfish, and impatient; but for every "flaw" in my personality, there's a good quality to make up for it. Next time someone points a finger at me, I'm going to point them in the direction of the closest mirror. Often times the things you find to dislike about me exist within your own life as well... Food for thought.

It amazes me how quickly someone can win my heart. It may be wreckless, but it feels right. It's been a long time since I've had that feeling so I'll go with it

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Christy2313

I shiver with antici...................................pation

Life is funny sometimes... it never ceases to amaze me. Things appear to be going well, and it would seem that good things might be coming my way. The anticipation of all it is so exciting, I barely know what to do with myself. I can't wait to find out where this is all going :)

Repeat after me...

I will not be insecure. I will not be insecure. I will not be insecure. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Why do I over-analyze everything? Ugh

New Year... same goal

... and that goal is simply to keep moving forward and growing. 2009 is winding down now... only a few more hours to go. This past year hasn't been particularly bad or particularly good... but all in all, it's been better than the previous year was. There's not much to say about 2009, really. I'm simply excited about momving forward. It's the beginning of a new decade.. I can't wait to see what's in store for us all.

Happy New Year everyone, and may all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions (unless you're one of those people who actually keeps their resolutions, lol)

Let it Go

Where there's love there is pain
With the sun comes the rain
Without wrong there'd be no right
Every day begins with night
In a crowd or all alone
Said out loud on telephones
When you give me your hand
With no words I understand

You got no one to run to
You got no one to find you

Stars will explode
Mountains erode
Oceans over flow
Let it go
Now yesterday is too far away
It's the end of the road
Let it go

I found love when there was pain
I felt the sun in pouring rain
I wish all my wrongs I could do right
I wish that you were hear tonight

Stars will explode
Mountains erode
Oceans over flow
Let it go
Now yesterday is too far away
It's the end of the road
Let it go

It's mind over (you don't) matter

For the longest time, I wished I could go back in time and do it all over... and do things right. Today I finally realized... I wouldn't, even if I could. Sure, parts of being able to erase certain people or events from your history would have it's perks; but at the same time, it has it's disadvantages as well. After all, if you changed one thing, wouldn't it completely alter the rest of your life?

This past year in particular, I've wished more than anything that I could take TJ out of my life completely.... and sometimes Jason. But I realize now that I couldn't do that without changing nearly everything about the person I've become today.

There are days when my heart still hurts as badly as it did at the time of the initial heartbreak; but I realize that even if I could spare myself the pain, it would be at the expense of later happiness. As they say, you can't truly appreciate good things without experiencing some bad things as well.

I've had some shitty friends, and shitty luck... but all in all, I'm happy with who I am today. It turns out that all the shitty-ness really is for a greater purpose... and I'm okay with that. I'm very much looking forward to a new year and a new start... as this past year, didn't quite live up to my expectations, but then again, things seldom do.

There are two types of secrets.... those we keep from others, and those we keep from ourselves"

Texts from last night...

I've just discovered one of the funniest sites I've seen in a while... it's called "Texts from Last night".... the funniest text I've seen so far was this

"(843): I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again."

Click Here to visit the site. Enjoy!!

Thanks Pete :)

Pretty much anyone who's ever encountered me knows that Fall Out Boy is my Favorite band, and that I love Pete Wentz more any other celebrity on the planet. I found this quote earlier and it just made me smile... just had to share it with everyone.

It's Almost Halloween!!

It's finally October, which means it's almost Halloween!!! I finally decorated the house, I'm super excited now. I think I've finally perfected my halloween mix on my iPod as well..... take a look, and if you think of something I missed, let me know!!




1. The Addams family Theme Song
2. Beetlejuice Theme Song
3. Heffalumps and Woozles
4. Nightmare on my street- The Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff
5. I want Candy- Bow Wow Wow
6. Halloween Theme- John Carpenter
7. Superfreak- Rick James
8. Thriller- Michael Jackson
9. Freaks come out at night- Whodini
10. Ghostbusters
11. Witch Doctor- Sha Na Na
12. Another one bites the dust- Queen
13. The Funeral March
14. Tubular Bells
15. Purple People Eater
16. Sweet Dreams- Marilyn Manson
17. Tales from the Crypt Theme
18. This is Halloween- Marilyn Manson
19. Friday the 13th Theme
20. Phantasm- Criss Angel
21. Boogie Wonderland
22. Pet Sematary- The Ramones
23. Halloween- Aqua
24. If I was your vampire- Marilyn Manson
25. Bad Things- Jace Everett
26. Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead!
27, Evil Ways- Santanna
28. Black Cat- Janet Jackson
29. Love Potion Number 9
30. Jeepers Creepers
31. The Time Warp- Rocky Horror Picture Show
32. Funeral March for a Marionette
33. Halloween- Sonic Youth
34. Living Dead Girl- Rob Zombie
35. It's Almost Halloween- Panic at the Disco
36. Toccata and Fugue
37. Twilight Zone Theme
38. This is Halloween- Panic at the Disco
39. Abracadabra
40. Feed my Frankenstein- Alice Cooper
41. The Devil Went Down to Georgia- Charlie Daniels Band
42. Harry Potter Theme
43. Highway to Hell- ACDC
44. Sanctified- Nine Inch Nails
45. Somebody's Watching Me- Rockwell
46. Men in Black- Will Smith
47. The Munsters Theme
48. Werewolves of London
49. I'm your boogie Man
50. Teenage Frankenstein- Alice Cooper
51. Witchy Woman- The Eagles
52. The Monster Mash
53. x-files theme
54. Little Red Riding Hood- Sam the Sham & the Pharoahs
55. I put a spell on you

Finally... some time to breathe!

The past week has been pretty eventful. My best friend’s wedding was on Saturday… and it was pretty much a disaster. I don’t think we could have had worse weather. It got to the point where it was almost comical. There was drama all weekend, but we had a really good time after the wedding was finally over.

I, however, was a basket case by the time Sunday morning rolled around. If there was ever a question about whether I truly needed my anti-depressant, I found the answer. I forgot to pack my medicine, so I missed three days worth of pills. You have not seen crazy until you see someone who abruptly stopped taking their mood stabilizer. All I could do was cry…. Seriously, It was bad. I’m finally starting to level out again, so that’s nice. Three cheers to better living through Chemistry.

Work has been pure chaos. We’ve been in the process of trying to get nationally accredited, and it’s been insane. All that finally ended yesterday, so it seems no one is doing a damn thing today, haha. All of our supervisors are in a different county for the day, and as they say…. “when the cats are away, the mice will play”.

I’m going to Kate’s tonight to look at the wedding photos. I’m really excited about it. I know the conditions were horrible, but I have tons of faith that Kate was able to get some really good photos. I love love love looking at pictures, but I really love when they’re pictures that involve me. What can I say; I might be a tad bit narcissistic!! LOL

I’m looking forward to getting back on the exercise bandwagon. I’ve not had a great deal of time to dedicate to the gym lately due to the wedding and all that. I’m hoping to start seeing results again soon. I’ve decided that once I lose 40 lbs, I’m going to have my teeth whitened… it’s like a mini-reward for my mini-goal.