For the longest time, I wished I could go back in time and do it all over... and do things right. Today I finally realized... I wouldn't, even if I could. Sure, parts of being able to erase certain people or events from your history would have it's perks; but at the same time, it has it's disadvantages as well. After all, if you changed one thing, wouldn't it completely alter the rest of your life?
This past year in particular, I've wished more than anything that I could take TJ out of my life completely.... and sometimes Jason. But I realize now that I couldn't do that without changing nearly everything about the person I've become today.
There are days when my heart still hurts as badly as it did at the time of the initial heartbreak; but I realize that even if I could spare myself the pain, it would be at the expense of later happiness. As they say, you can't truly appreciate good things without experiencing some bad things as well.
I've had some shitty friends, and shitty luck... but all in all, I'm happy with who I am today. It turns out that all the shitty-ness really is for a greater purpose... and I'm okay with that. I'm very much looking forward to a new year and a new start... as this past year, didn't quite live up to my expectations, but then again, things seldom do.
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